1. |
Back to Bed
03:39
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I count the hours,
Till I can go back to bed,
Channeling my energy,
Into the mistakes I made.
Close up the blinds woman,
Close up your door,
There’s nothing else left for you,
No more.
Trudging through this molasses,
That no one can seem to see,
Thick and heavy it coats my skin,
In a dulling varnish.
As I look right through them all,
To a future failed me,
I can’t make it past that point,
You see.
I’ll sit with you till you feel the need to talk,
I’ll sit with you till you feel the need to talk,
Even if you’re the only one who needs to talk,
Even if you’re the only one who needs to talk.
I’ll sit with you till you feel the need to talk,
I’ll sit with you till you feel the need to talk,
Even if you’re the only one who needs to talk,
Even if you’re the only one who needs to talk.
I feel like I’m nothing left without you (I, you...)
I feel like I’m nothing left without you (I, you...)
I feel like I’m nothing left without you (I, you...)
I feel like I’m nothing left without you (I, you...)
I count the hours,
Close up the blinds woman.
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2. |
Borderline
05:13
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You said it wouldn’t be anything like,
The past beauty you held in your sight,
And I know you’ve got a vision in mind,
But come on, so do I,
Come on, so do I.
Slip away to the darkness you built,
You are broke by the borderline,
Of some town you don’t know,
Best you be satisfied,
You got what you want.
The state sign reads go back, go back son,
Your pride says ‘no you haven’t won’,
And you want a highway to your home,
So you can pick up and leave,
Whenever you please,
So you can pick up when you’re fed up,
When no one is good enough.
Slip away to the darkness you built,
You are broke by the borderline,
Of some town you don’t know,
Best you be satisfied,
You got what you want.
And, slip away to the darkness you built,
Oh, slip away to the darkness you built,
Oh, slip away to the darkness you built,
Oh, slip away to the darkness you built...
Slip away to the darkness you built,
You are broke by the borderline,
Of some town you don’t know,
Best you be satisfied,
Best you be satisfied,
Best you be satisfied,
You got what you want.
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3. |
There You Are
03:51
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It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault,
You didn’t know how to let me go,
A quick goodbye with an empty tone.
As I watch the miles cross,
10 thousand, 10 thousand,
Oh and there you are.
I was ripe with rage,
It’s a good thing you never caved,
You cropped the weakness I displayed.
Even though I’m headed East,
You’re not with me and never will be,
I miss you all the time,
Especially on these long drives.
As I watch the miles cross,
10 thousand, 10 thousand,
Oh and there you are,
There you are,
Every kilometre.
I laid the blame,
God knows I would blame again,
As long as you leave me hanging.
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4. |
We Get It Now
03:50
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Disguise yourself as a warm blooded body,
Don’t let the critics see the monster in your skin,
I’m not you’re enemy, why ya trying to fight me?
Can we really call it fighting if you’re not gunna speak?
Can we really call it fighting if you’re not gunna see me?
Oh you’re making me sad,
Cause you’re on the road,
And you don’t know what you had.
Oh you’re stressed but you’re good,
We get it now,
You’re misunderstood.
Scruff on your face, no evidence of being a boy,
All I can see is a child now,
Kicking and screaming,
Judging everyone who ain’t good enough,
I guess I’m one of them now,
I said I guess I’m one of them now.
Oh a coward they say,
Will tip you off in a text,
Then hide away.
Oh ditch me I’m gone,
I’m human,
And that’s what went wrong.
I can see you now,
In front of the crowd,
All hollowed out.
Mask all the things you seek,
Your tendencies,
Your ego’s needs.
Let me remind you I’m not a business deal,
You can’t shred the documents,
The spread sheets of our memories,
The recent draft, the hardcopy,
There are things you cannot delete,
There are things I cannot delete.
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5. |
Trails
03:38
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Dancing through the fire,
Dancing through the flame,
All you saw was blonde hair,
And a small statured frame.
Before I’d never question you,
You’d have the final say,
Using your authority,
To paint me in the wrong shade.
I am a nomad,
I am a nomad,
I won’t be dismissed quietly,
Like you expect for all women.
Dancing through the rivers,
Bathing in our cloth,
You call me to water’s edge,
Pulling wool over my eyes,
Wool over my eyes,
Wool over my eyes,
Then you run out of sight.
I am a nomad,
I am a nomad,
I won’t be dismissed quietly,
Like you expect for all women.
All you need is a match and seat,
On the forest ground tonight, honey,
All you see is the make believe,
Wandering past your door,
Wandering past your door.
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6. |
Dead Space
04:23
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Over my shoulder,
A heavy sigh breaks,
The early morning rising,
And all its dead space.
I roll over, your chest,
Fills with no worry,
The fear in your eyes,
Is finally asleep.
And I tell myself to hold onto you,
For the moments are sparse,
Before you rip me in two,
Like an echo of your empty hindsight,
Oh I’d let your love kill me,
Just for one more night.
An arm lengths now from me,
It’s heavy and full,
The truth spans the space from,
Here to Montreal.
It’s all of out focus,
I’m losing control,
It’s a white out in this old town,
I’m in the middle of it all.
And I tell myself to hold onto you,
For the moments are sparse,
Before you rip me in two,
Like an echo of your empty hindsight,
Oh I’d let your love kill me,
Just for one more night.
And I tell myself if I hold onto you,
A tighter grip,
Will only prove,
That you’re wild, goddamn free, and alright,
But I’d let your love kill me,
Just for one more night.
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7. |
Golden Girl
03:41
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Do you dream of the golden girl?
Roaming in the cities,
Prairies at her heels,
Wild and free, eighteen,
Was it fun to show up in her town?
Leave her in the morning.
I can’t let you back in,
No I can’t let you back again,
I can’t let you go as deep as you did,
No I can’t,
No never again.
Was the illusion more attractive than,
The honesty you found while sleeping in my bed?
As I wake in a one bodied bed,
It’s not like I mind,
It’s not like I mind.
I can’t let you back in,
No I can’t let you back again,
I can’t let you go as deep as you did,
No I can’t,
No never again,
No never again.
Drunk we stumble home,
And I’m sorry again and again and again,
That I’m isolated and kept,
Within my memory’s presence.
Awake, tender and naked,
A navy ghost, blinding my soul.
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8. |
The Other Side
04:22
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Through the lips of passerby’s,
I found the other side,
And you didn’t know what to do.
In my grief of younger days,
I wanted to run away,
From the ones that seemed to know me best.
The further I seem to move away,
The longer I seem to want to stay,
Close to you,
Close to you.
Now I’m here and by myself,
Shaken by my brash handouts,
Words wrapped in glacial intonation.
You gave me life you gave me breath,
Let me do what I do best,
Jump from town to town,
And never quit, but I quit.
The further I seem to move away,
The longer I seem to want to stay,
Close to you,
Close to you.
With iron I will stand for you.
The further I seem to move away,
The longer I seem to want to stay,
Close to you,
Close to you,
Close to you,
Close to you.
What if I wake up and I’m lying on a cloud?
What if I only just figured out?
I don’t believe in candles lighting up my room,
But I do.
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9. |
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I wish you knew,
The woman I was,
Two years ago,
When I felt like someone.
Oh I did laugh,
You wouldn’t believe,
This young frozen heart,
Pumped red like cherries.
Oh,
Where were you long ago,
When kindness was something,
I wanted to know?
Struck by your light,
With fear I was petrified,
Bare, honest skin, and words that reduce me,
To what I have always been.
You’re a hard-wired shelf, the way I see it,
Displaying only photos of the best times.
And oh I cry,
I know you cry.
Oh,
Where were you long ago,
When kindness was something,
I wanted to know?
I wanted to know?
I wanted to know?
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Kirsten Ludwig Toronto, Ontario
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